Dating was and never will be a walk in the park. Many guys can sympathize with the idea that a girl they like can’t seem to take a hint or even flat our rejects their advances while some guys can’t find the confidence to do anything about what they feel in the first place.
Whatever it is, figuring out a way to have Cupid shoot an arrow to the girl of your dreams and have her return your affections can be a confusing and challenging task. That can even attest to the notion that ladies are hard to read. But do you know that there are workarounds to this dilemma? Sooner or later, you’ll finally land her and be on your way planning your first date!
1. Avoid Being Desperate
Most guys don’t know that when they like a girl very much, they tend to appear a bit (or a ton) desperate. It is so wrong! Girls don’t like to be pressured. Never act desperate! Just be cool. Pursue her but be cool about it. I have heard a lot of funny stories about some guys cyber stalking the girls they like. Do you know what I mean? Avoid doing that. Meet her normally, introduce yourself, make her feel that you are not only interested in her beautiful looks or her package.
2. Squeeze every drop of confidence you have
I know, you’ve already tried that but dude, try harder! Girls love when a guy shows that he’s really trying his best to man up even if he’s stuttering as he talks. They secretly want to know how far you are willing to push your limit. It’s not that they want to make things a bit difficult for you, but they just want to be sure that you are “the man” who can proudly show her around his family and circle of friends. Besides, when a guy’s confident, that’s a total attraction point.
So how do you develop your confidence? Fight the negative thoughts. It’s not easy but take baby steps if you must and she will certainly appreciate the effort you’re doing as she sees you’re turning into someone she wants.
3. Never forget to be a gentleman
Nothing beats being a gentleman into skyrocketing your place into a girl’s heart. In fact, being a gentleman should not only come up when you want to impress a girl but this should be a lifelong attitude that every man should have. Even when you’re just getting to know each other and not exclusively dating yet, this is something that you should start with. Basic courtesy like opening the door for her or not letting her walk on the curbside are just some of the nice things you can do for her. When you’re a gentleman, it makes her feel secure and she will see you as someone she can depend on.
4. Be generous with the compliments
But do not overdo it either! When she tells you she feels less than attractive one time you see her in an old tee and sweatpants, make it a point to tell her she’s still beautiful. And it’s not just with the way she looks but even more with the little things that anyone doesn’t easily notice. You realize she has a habit of biting her lips when she’s concentrating, tell her how adorable it is! Be sincere with your compliments and you will certainly fish a shy smile from her as she savors your compliment.
5. Listen to what she says
Hey, a girl can tell if you’re listening intently even when you don’t really know anything what she’s talking about. Especially when you take the initiative to bring up something she said in one her stories at a later time, she’ll be over the moon that she got a guy who actually (and finally) listens to her. Believe me, you instantly get a hundred steps ahead from any guy she has dated before. Also, this gives you an edge to get to know her better and use what you know when she finally agrees to be your girlfriend. You’ll always be looking for her favorite daisies in the flower shop when you want to surprise her with a bouquet.
6. Make her laugh
When you’re both old and wrinkly, the bond you have built over the years takes precedence than having youthful, wrinkle-free skin and dyed hair. When she’s feeling down and you can make her laugh (bonus if you can make her snort!), she’ll feel the want to always have you around because you have the gift to lift her mood up. That is far more valuable than any material things because true attraction leans more on things that cannot be seen but rather feel.
7. Be honest
Even when you’re yet to put a label to your “arrangements”, be sure to put all your cards on the table if you’re exclusively dating or still seeing some people. That way, you two are clear to what you are to each other and be able to deal with whatever feelings are bubbling up in the most appropriate way. Girls are hurt the most when they find something out about you and you have told the complete opposite. It’s better to be honest up front than to be found out later. They’ll surely appreciate the sentiment of you manning up to tell the truth (even if it can sometimes hurt).
8. Best friend concept
This is not the feared friendzone that every guy is avoiding to fall into. Before you can even try to be her boyfriend, it is ideally better to be her best friend. That puts both of you into a comfortable circumstance with one another. You can bond over your common interests or you can show each other your weekend hangout and learn new things from each other. Starting off as friends helps takes some of the pressure for the two of you as you take things slowly.
This whole “friends first” idea is even backed up by statistics! But even when you finally dive into a relationship, make sure it goes deeper than boyfriend-girlfriend label and maintain your friendship that is rooted from genuine care for each other.
9. Get to know her circle
She’s not the only one you need to impress, but even her friends. What you want is for her to tell her friends about you because you got game — the very reason this list is here. But that’s not the end of it. They’ll be watching you like a hawk so you need to be on your best behavior. Everything you do to her, every conversation is almost certainly getting reported to them and whatever comments they have about you is something that your lady love will take into account if she’s going to say yes to you. Gather up the confidence and make small talk when you see her with her friends. As they say, first impression lasts. And it definitely will.
10. Don’t slack off into making your presence known
If you’re not the only guy who’s flocking around her and you’re not very keen in keeping up with the competition, then you’ll surely lose. There are tons of way to make yourself and your intentions known without going over the line and coming off as creepy. Casually ask her out for coffee and if she mentions she’s heading somewhere, you can offer her company. Don’t be pushy when she says ‘no’ because as much as you want her to be your girlfriend soon, she might still be getting to know you and you being patient will make her feel comfortable.
11. Sometimes, you just have to be direct
Sometimes, you’re the one who is clueless and she’s just really waiting for you to say it. As much as she wants to ask you the clarification, some girls believe that the guy should make the first move and until then, she’s not going to do just that. You might even be getting some hints here and there so what are you waiting for? Ask her out. That’s when you’re finally going to get your answer.
12. Correct her in private
Try to speak good of her positively outside, in front of her friends, your friends or even complete strangers. It goes a long way. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean you should tell her lies. As we have said earlier, be real.
13. Flexibility and creativeness is essential
You don’t have to be a multi-millionaire before you can win a girl’s heart. Get rid of that mentality ASAP. Be creative and think out of the box! Take her out to nice beautiful places, doesn’t have to be expensive at all! Surprise picnics, funny gifts, trips, teach her things and so on. Just be creative.
14. Keep her speculating
Don’t be a cliché! It’s is extremely boring for her when there is nothing new to look forward to. Avoid that! Keep her guessing your next move.
15. Share some of your experience with her
Don’t be afraid to tell her more about yourself. It doesn’t matter if your stories aren’t flashy or exiting, if you’re passionate about something she will enjoy hearing about it… Even if it’s goofy or weird. It’s not about the content of the story, it’s about the delivery and what emotions you give her while telling it.
16. Smell nice and have good hygiene
Investing in a good hygiene is a great way to get the ladies. Women love guys with a great body scent as it’s almost like having great biceps.
However, the opposite is the case and a big deal breaker if you don’t adhere to basic hygiene.
They say first impressions leaves a lasting impression, so why not make the best first impression by investing in great deodorants, body sprays, cologne, and good hygiene.
17. Be yourself
While this phrase may sound cliche and overused, if you get turned down by lots of girls you would know that this is the first step to being with that girl you truly love.
Accepting that you may probably not be the coolest guy out there and knowing there is no one else like you would help build your confidence.
Pretending to be who you aren’t might impress the girl at first, but would never yield a genuine or lasting relationship. So be confident in yourself while meeting her and also be sincere and genuine in wanting to get to know her.
18. Flowers and Gifts
This isn’t a be all end all thing. But some girls show their love by giving gifts and thus, receiving them makes them fall for you. It doesn’t have to be something expensive or unique either. If you just show that you’re going the extra mile to give her a gift or one or two roses, she’ll definitely love it.
19. Words of affirmation
This is somewhat similar to compliments… But let’s be real, she’s probably heard that she’s beautiful a million times already, and that’s only from last week. Taking things a step further would be words of affirmation. If she’s doing something great, tell her that she’s great at it. If she thinks of something you’ve never thought, thank her for it and make a remark of how smart she is. Basically compliment her on the things that aren’t on the surface. She’ll appreciate it a lot!
20. Physicality
This is a touchy subject (see what I did there, haha). On one hand, it’s incredibly important to be more physical with girls. On the other, it can be inappropriate sometimes. The best way to deal with this? – Start slow and work your way up. Imagine you’re talking to a guy friend, if you wanted to get your point across you’d touch his shoulder. That’s what I call ‘friendly touching’ basically any touching that is alright among friends. Do that with girls too at the beginning.
After you two are more comfortable with eachother, transition into touching her more often with excuses. Things like looking at her earrings, bracelet, the fabric of her dress… If you can touch her hips and do so with an excuse (“I like this fabric, it looks good on you”) it’s suddenly not weird anymore.
At some point, you should have escalated enough (verbally and physically) to move to the next steps.
21. Do things with her
It’s important to actually do things with her. The dating process isn’t really an exchange of words that leads to you two being together. It’s a relationship (kind of like what you have with regular friends) that needs to be expanded upon and hopefully leads to a more intimate one. So, in that light, actually do things with her.
Going on dates is cool and all, but cooking together, walking the dog (or the cat, if you’re a cat-person like me), going to the gym… literally anything goes. Just spend more time together doing activities and you’ll build an incredible connection.
22. Be Protective
This is a bit odd, but I’m sure you have this feeling inside you (or maybe you don’t I’ve never been a different man that myself)… Basically the feeling that you want to protect things. Not speaking about protecting from danger… more like being a pillar that others can rely on. Reliability, that’s exactly it. And girls LOVE it. Show her subtle signs of protectiveness and she’ll feel much more comfortable around you. Things like, asking if she got home safe, or offering to walk her home in the dark. As long as you aren’t being pushy about it and genuinely feel that way, she’ll love it.
23. Don’t be afraid to take the next step
I’ve actually struggled with this a lot in the past. I’d go on dates, have a great time, escalate properly and make the girl want me… but then I’d feel weird about kissing her. I thought the time wasn’t right or something. So… DO NOT do that!
If it feels like she wants it, chances are she does. Look for ques like her biting her lips, staring at yours and looking away (or just staring, maybe she’s just more bold). And take the shot. Girls love men who take charge, so do that. And if you think it’s risky… usually it’s not. Try to train yourself to notice these clues (google for more clues too) and if you see her doing them, she’s probably thinking about kissing you too (well, not literally… subconsciously).
24. Have your own goals
As a man, your time should be really precious to begin with. We can’t afford to waste time doing silly things, we need to be the best version of ourselves we can be. That’s constant improvement (and girls can’t help but fall for that). Have your goals and stick to them. Women aren’t the main thing in our lives… and the one you like doesn’t want to be the center of your universe either. So, just stick to what you’re doing instead of centering your life around her.
25. Be patient
No point to rush things really. If you have your goals like I said in the previous point, this one is in the bag. Truth is, she doesn’t want to be rushed… And nor do you. She’s not the most important part of your life and thus, she can wait. That’s showing her a ton of great qualities about you, but it’s also giving her time to ‘put things in perspective’. If you win her purely based on emotion, sometime along the road things will crack. But if you win her on reasoning as well (that’s for her to make, you just do what you do and she has to decide for herself) things are going to be much smoother. It’s great for everyone.
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